In honor of Matt Cain's Perfect game and the vacation that was given to him by the G's to be enjoyed in the off season.....
The One Who Comes Up With The Idea For The Whole Team To Crash The Trip:
One of us said Hunter Pence, the other said Aubrey Huff. We don't feel the need to explain these choices.
The One Who Protests At First, But Then Plans Out The Seating Arrangements, The Outing To Pearl Harbor, The Luau, And Other Importantish Things:
Buster Posey, obviously.
The One Who Agrees Immediately And Tells Buster To Lighten Up, Bro:
Brian Wilson. *evil laughter*
The One Who Learns Hawaiian In Two Weeks In Order To Get The Most Out Of The Experience:
Javier Lopez, because we're nerds and we love him.
The One Who Almost Misses The Flight Because He's Signing Autographs And Taking Pics With Fans:
Jeremy Affeldt, because he's just nice and awesome like that.
The One Who Has To Take A Picture With The Pilot And Get Wings:
Brandon Belt, because he needs something to share with Brandon the Giraffe the next time he visits.
The One Who Entertains Matt's Mini-Me During The Flight:
One of us said MadBum, one said Timmy. We were trying to go outside the box on this one and then decided that having both of them do it would be hilarious to watch. Come on, you know it would be.
The One Who Charms The Flight Attendant Into Getting Him Extra Pillows:
One of us said Theriot, in the spirit of the above mentioned thinking outside the box. But the other one isn't quite convinced.
The One Who Annoys Everyone Else By Asking For Their Peanuts:
Gregor Blanco. Just because.
The One Who Is Excited About Getting A Lei When They Land:
Crawford. And no, there is no double entendre intended here. Shame on you.
The One Who Sleeps Through The Entire Flight:
Melky Cabrera, because he's exhausted from successful contract negotiations with the G's.
The One Who Buys Cool Sunglasses For Everyone Before They Leave The Airport:
George Kontos, because we are shallow and we think he looks like the kind of guy who looks good in sunglasses.
The One Who Tells Everyone Else To Wear Sunscreen:
Ryan Vogelsong, because everyone would obey.
The One Who Rocks The Hawaiian Shorts:
Sergio Romo, who swiped them from his commercial for Luau Night at AT&T Park.
The One Who Hits The Beach First And Convinces Pablo Sandoval To Go Para Sailing:
Angel Pagan. "Oye, amigo, debe tratarlo..."
The One Who Swims With Dolphins:
Brett Pill. See aforementioned shallow disclaimer.
The One Who Hulas At The Luau:
Hunter Pence, since he's new and trying too hard. Did we mention that Belt joins in? Because he does. Because that mental image will keep you laughing regardless of how this season ends. And because a gif of that would be all kinds of awesome.
The One Who Uploads The Pence/Belt Hula To Youtube And It Gets A Million Hits:
You'll never know. It's top secret. (but it was Zito)
The One Who Ends The Luau With A Rousing Rendition Of "Don't Stop Believing":
Everyone, because Together We're Giant
*curtain*
